Macrame Hearts

So. Freshers Week.

After general craziness of Summer, I was looking forward to getting back into the swing of education. I thought that Freshers Week would be a breeze. A chance for me to see old friends, and make new ones. It hasn't quite turned out like that.

Don't get me wrong, I have had a really fun time. It's just that this past week has made me completely reassess how I feel about my position within my group of friends. The people I expected not to change haven't. The people I expected to change have. But there are a few people that have completely blindsided me, be it good or bad. (In case anyone stumbles across this, I am going to refer to people by their initials, for their benefit, and also my own)

The best decision I made was to live with S. I have had so much fun with him the past few days, and I just know that he is going to be really good for me. We aren't about the drama (even if our neighbours are scared of us) and I know that he's going to push me on to do work. Housemate Wristbands, innit.

One of the most surprising turnarounds has been with D. At the end of last year, you could say things were strained. well, actually, that would be understating things. We literally couldn't stand to be in the same room as each other. It was both our faults, and it got far too out of hand, but when we broke up for Summer, I really didn't care wether or not I saw him again. And then something really weird happened. We were sat outside the Su in the sun, a big group of us just drinking and talking. Then D came over with N, and sat down next to me. And then we just started talking. There was no animosity, no bitchiness; it was just two friends having a normal conversation. It was as if the past year simply hadn't happened. To be honest, I'm relived. I wasn't up for the drama at all, and it's so nice to be able to go to work and not worry about seeing him. I'm not saying we're going to be best friends, but it's nice to know. (P says she thinks a lot of the arguments last year were because we are so similar. I'm loathed to admit it, but she's probably right)

Another person that has changed is K. If I'm honest, I saw it coming last year when she got the job. She's difficult to get along with at the best of times, but this year has been torture. She's constantly moody, and her whining has been getting a lot of people down. It's getting to the point where the Freshers are beginning to notice and comment, which is terrible. It goes completely against the job. I feel really sorry for J, as it's reflecting badly on him, even though he's doing his side of the position really well.

Forgetting all of the job stuff though, I don't think I'll ever forgive K for last Monday. After having worked 8-4 (and having to listen to her whinge about having to put decorations up) I came back to work for 7pm, expecting everything to be sorted. Was it bollocks. Even though she knew she wanted to do a cocktail party before we broke up for summer, not one thing had been organised. We were out of stock of some alcohol, the staff had no clue what they were doing, the menus that were out were out of date, and no one knew if the prices were correct. It was a nightmare. So, in the space of half an hour, and on 2 hours sleep, I had to pretty much organise the entire thing. Then the bar got packed. Like, Drink The Bar Dry packed. So for her to turn up at 9.30 and say that she was so stressed? She was lucky I didn't glass her.

I was told that my manager has acknowledged my hard work, which is great, but the point is, it shouldn't have happened. Oh, and she took credit for everything. Lovely.

As for the Freshers themselves? To say that they were an odd bunch would be an understatement. L is pretty much L from last year. Loud, brash, sometimes obnoxious, but generally has her heart in the right place. I just hope that she doesn't mess B around.

One of the oddest has got to be A. I still can't really work him out. He's one of those 'I've done everything' types (including being bi for a year before realising men were cocks...right) that you usually find in every friendship group. He seems like he could be a really nice guy, but you have to get through all of that bravado bullshit to get anywhere near it. A massive stumbling block is his constant flirting with me. At first I thought it was a bit of friendly banter, but now I'm not so sure. It's getting annoying to be honest, and I'm not happy that there is a rumour going round that we have pulled. From what I can gather, he started it too. Definitely one to be cautious of.

The rest of them are pretty much interchangeable. Some have potential to be pretty interesting, but I haven't really given them the opportunity. I shall work on that. A lot of them have an awful taste in music though. Last night at work was like having teeth pulled.

Anyway, before this turns into character assassination 101, back to what I was saying. This week has really taken it out of me. Emotionally, physically, the works. I'm aware that I'm seen as the go-to-guy for parties and crazy nights out, which to be fair, I have perpetuated for the past 2 years. But this year it's not enough. I think I'm going to slowly ease myself out of that, and fully immerse myself into my work. That's not to say I won't go out at all, I have just moved my priorites around. The summer has taught me who my real friends are, and I'm very happy with that. I don't feel the need to be constantly getting drunk any more. Gosh, that makes me sound old!

I don't know though. I've been feeling that there's just something (someone?) missing. Maybe it's just because I'm tired and introspective, but I hope whatever it is sorts itself out. So, from now on, I'm going to be level headed, and not let anything get in the way of my goals. I wonder what I'll think of this in 3 months time...

The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus

This pretty much sums up everything I want to see in this film. So excited.

Erik Hassle - Hassle

This is brilliant.

WET

Really looking forward to this. Wet centers around Rubi (voiced by the stunning Eliza Dushku), a killer for hire. After getting double crossed in a job gone wrong, she sets out to get her vengance. Or something. The truth is, this isn't really a game you play for its story. The action is hyper kinetic, and all kinds of crazy. Wielding Rubi's dual pistols, you dispatch bad guys whilst soaring through the air, running along a wall, or sliding on your knees. And there are a ton of bad guys to kill.

The graphics are pretty decent, but what really sells the game for me is the Grindhouse effect that is applied to the visuals. It really is the Rodriguez/Tarantino double header come to life. Film grain, inter reel signs, jump cuts, it's all there. The celluloid even burns and fails when you die.

Another great aspect is 'Rubi Vision' At certain points in the game, Rubi goes absolutely mental and everything on the screen goes red. From then on you make your way through the area destroying anything that moves. It's like playing The House Of Blue Leaves showdon from Kill Bill Volume One, and it's a hell of a lot of fun.

The one thing I'm a bit concerned about from playing the demo is the controls. Whilst you're flying though the air shooting two yakuzas at once they're great. But when you're not, it feels a bit clunky. Hopefully they'll be improved in the final game.

Regardless, I'm looking forward to playing the whole thing when it gets released. A blast of big, dumb, violent fun.





Also, I love that they got the Machete guy to do the voiceover for this trailer.

(Write it!)

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

-- Elizabeth Bishop

I saw a trailer for In Her Shoes the other day, and it reminded me of this poem. I always though it was quite beautiful, even though the way Cameron Diaz reads it in the film is difficult to listen to.

I Want To Go Back To Russia

Hopefully I'd remember more of it this time.

Anyone?

Things I need to do for my Dissertation

I want to have pretty much done this by Christmas so that I can spend all of the spring term next year correcting and streamlining. There is no way I want to be doing the Dissertation rush.

By the end of Septmeber:

• Re-watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House On The Left, An American Nightmare and Night of the Living Dead.
• Finish reading The Vietnam War by Mitchell K. Hall, noting down the relevant points.
• Talk to Gregg about where the focus of the study should be.

Ongoing:

Books I need to read -

• The Wounds Of Nations: Horror Cinema, Historical Trauma and National Identity by Linnie Blake
• The Velvet Light Trap - Number 57, Spring 2006, pp. 42-59 Matt Blake
• The Afterlife of America's War in Vietnam: Changing Visions in Politics & Screen by Gordon Arnold
• The Most Savage Film: 'Soldier Blue', Cinematic Violence, and the Horrors of War by P.B. Hurst
• The Texas Chain Saw Massacre Companion by Stefan Jaworzyn
• Men, Women and Chainsaws by Carol J. Clover
• American Dream, Global Nightmare by Ziauddin Sardar & Merryl Wyn Davies

It's all a bit broad still, but I'm going to get as much reading done before I go back so that it will be easier to figure out what I want to focus on.

It doesn't rain...

On set today I was offered another job, which is brilliant in theory. Pretty much more of the same, but it's on a studio film (no idea what) which means more money, and a better chance of getting some solid contacts within the industry. Perfect, right?

Well, not quite. If I accept it, it means starting Sunday. As in this Sunday. Crap.

I am completely torn as to what to decide, especially since I have to give an answer before we wrap tomorrow. Penny, being the eternal voice of reason, suggested sleeping on it when I called her earlier. At that point my head was swimming, having just been asked. There are a million different reasons why I should say yes. I mean, it could do wonders for my future career.

But the more I think about it, the more reasons not to crop up. There's the obvious time issue, and this month has completely burnt me out, both physically and mentally. I'm not sure I can do that for another two months (at the very least.) I'd also have to take time out from my final year at Uni, something I'm not entirely comfortable with.

I'd also have to find somewhere to live, as I can't stay with Jess. That would be unfair on her, and I'd feel like I was taking the piss slightly. There's also the matter of the flat I've just put a deposit on. I can't leave Sam in the lurch like that, although I would have a month to find someone to take my place.

I'd also be leaving Penny in the shit at the student union. As if having a change of managers wasn't bad enough, she'd be the only supervisor there who knew what the hell she was doing. I can't do that to her.

Ugh, I think, in all honesty, I've made up my mind. But I can't help but think that if I turn this opportunity down, I'll be overlooked for any other jobs. The director has told me that he's going to need me again, and that he'll pass my name on, but I can't help but worry. Besides, I'd actually kick myself if it turned out to be Harry Potter.

In other news, wind machines are officially amazing. We filmed a big fight scene today, and it was set in a howling gale. The rushes look awesome already, so I'm very excited to see what it looks like when it's all put together. Really looking forward to the premiere.

I just don't know what to do.

The XX - XX

Quite simply, one of the debuts of the year. The vocals of Romy Madley Croft and Oliver Sim compliment each other perfectly, and the songs themselves are beautifully crafted tales of the melancholy romance of youth. The lyrics are deep and emotive, and the arrangement of the music is brilliant. This band have completely blindsided me, and are one of my favourites of the year so far. Very happy to be seeing them live soon too.

Stand out tracks include Crystalised, Heart Skipped a Beat, Night Time, and bizarrely, the Intro. Highly recommended.

Things I Like About You

I started out with a list of things that I like about you, but it got stupidly long. I still have the list, if you want to see it, but for now, I'm going to go with this one:

Everything.